Then Again Maybe Not

Happy Saturday, my lovely readers. It is wonderful to see you on this bright and shining morning. I must confess, I was rather comfy in my bed and didn't rise until well after 9am. So unlike me... but so needed after last night. I know you aren't used to seeing my in this bloggy space on the weekends. But today it is warranted. I have some feelings to work through and I want to do it while the feelings are so very fresh.

As you know, last night my first First Friday event at the studio. With all the overwhelming other events of this week, on Thursday, I was thinking this event might not take place. With Jacob down and out on the couch with influenza, and my back smarting every now and then, I called Ron and asked if I should just let it go. He said, in the most husbandly fashion, "it is up to you". Not what I wanted to hear. So, I set to texting an understanding friend. My understanding friend is wonderful at leading me through a conversation in a way that helps me better know my own intention and heart. Often times, she does it with the simplest of words. She knows all too well the pressure I put on myself when it comes to doing "public" shows of my work. The simple thing she said was "... as long as you aren't waiting out of a place of fear...". The one word, fear, settled into my thoughts and I knew instantly, without a doubt, that there was no fear in my heart. I decided to just let things happen as they would and as they did, an excitement settled in.

Yesterday, I truly was so excited as I moved through the day. I bought a bouquet of balloons to draw the crowds down my hallway. I picked wine to share with friends that would visit. I tidied the studio, set up displays, made a last minute necklace, I hung silouettes that I made of the kids, and I felt really good. I felt antsy to see what the night would bring too. All the while I was checking in with myself, being present, and knowing where my heart was. No fear.




Then... people started arriving. Of this I have no doubt, I absolutely loved sharing my new space with my family and friends. I was so so proud to show my new creative home to them. I wish I had more time to focus and talk with them. (I also wish I could have found a couch for the studio too. It could really use some softer, cozier, spaces.) It would seem that just when one conversation would get going, new people would wander in that needed greetings and questions answered. One of the nice things about doing events like this is getting to introduce my style of lampwork glass jewelry to people that have never seen it before. It is fun to watch eyes widen at the mention of each bead being made by hand at the torch. (Yep, that torch right over there in the corner.) Many take a card and a final look around before going off to explore another studio in the building.

And then... there were the other kind of visitors. Before I tell out about the others, know this... my words aren't coming from a place of sadness or frustration or hurt. In fact, it is just the opposite. I am excited to finally know my feelings on this. I think a lot of my angst leading up to Friday came from a place of uncertainty. Now, I know and I am in a good, healthy place about it. So, read these next sentences with a tone in your mind that pictures me smiling and sort of whispering/sharing a discovered secret.

The others... well, some were down right rude and left me feeling violated. And I.did.not.like.it. I have told you before how tender I feel about my studio and protective of it. So, you can imagine how unsettling it was when people completely ignored the displays of jewelry I had out to bee-line to my work desk, pull out a strand of glass from a jar and snap it in half. Or how rattling it could be for some to walk behind my desk and feel free to touch my tools and pull rods of glass from my shelves. Some others went even further with their inconsideration, ignoring both my art and my workspace, to help themselves to free wine and snacks. Yes, they walked to my table, poured themselves a glass of red, then promptly turned and walked out. Truly... violating was the only word I could come up with to describe the sensations I was feeling in the moments when these others came into my creative home.

Monday, I will sweep and wash away the yuck left behind on the floors and tables by those others. I will return my spools of wire, pliers, and polishing pads to their rightful places on my desk. I will twirl a time or two in my tutu and I will shut my doors to those others. In my heart I know I do not want to open my studio, or myself, to them again. First Fridays are not for me... and I am at peace with that in the very best way. I really learned so much about myself last night. My family and my friends will always be welcome... and I am thinking private open houses on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon are what will be in my future. Last night, though, will not happen again. I feel stronger in knowing that resolve and eager to continue finding truths that make my heart happy.

A Little Detail From A Day Card Sets

I am so excited right now that my cheeks hurt from the grin I have that goes from ear to ear!! For a long... nah, LONG... time (insert timeline of about 3yrs or so), I have had this little whisper in my heart saying "put your photos on note cards." Fear usually challenges that whisper with remarks that go a little something like... "your photos aren't good enough, people that say they are are just being nice", or "no one will actually buy your pictures, don't be silly." Fear can be a powerful thing, but moving through it can be even more powerful!! I have finally been able to sock those bad thoughts right in the face and let that little whispering turn into a shout.

Last week, I picked a few of my favorite photos from the past few weeks, edited them just so, uploaded them in secret to be printed, and today those goodies arrived in my mailbox. I couldn't be more thrilled with how they turned out. I love each and every card and can't wait to start sending notes to anyone and everyone. Naturally, I ordered enough for you too!! There are two sets now available on my website. There are sets of four or sets of six images. (You can see the images that appear on the cards in this set on Flickr:: Postcards) They are printed on a lovely weight card stock with a beautiful matte finish. *sigh* OH how I want to pet their matte finish goodness.

There are just a few sets of each, so snatch them up!! I will NOT be reprinting these images again. You know me and my need to keep things unique. Christmas is right around the corner!! The sets would make super stocking stuffers or teacher gifts or Secret Santa prezzies or just a special little treat for yourself. I do hope you love them as much as I do!! Let me know if you have any questions.

(ps... as the first photo shows, you can now find me at http://www.kerrybogert.com/ too!! It is the same website you are used to seeing, but now you have more ways to find me.)

Beads and a Bit of Babble

First of all, my apologies to dial up users. I took a boat load of photos and just couldn't show you any less than what is here!! LOOK AT THESE BEADS!! I just want to swim in a pool of them. These are all the "plaid" beads needed for my Framed class. Online registration is closed, but you can still register at the show and there are still spots available! If you are any where near King Of Prussia PA, come see me!! I will be doing a book signing at the Interweave booth on Friday and a demo too. Plus I will be at Meet The Teachers Friday night. Wow, just a week away! I can hardly believe it.





So, um, you probably won't be able to tell by this post, but I am not feeling so talkative right now. I am about to babble on for several minutes so I am sure it doesn't seem that way to you, but seriously... me no talky.

Monday I told y'all how I was feeling like crud, well, I still very much am. When I get down on myself, I tend to get quiet. It has been really nice to be distracted by this big bead project. Rather than feeling cruddy and avoiding life by spending more time than I should on the web, I am in my studio sitting at my flame making beads for hours on end. Much healthier, yes, than the web addiction but it really isn't making me *feel* better about myself. I am a little too caught up in my head.




So while in my own head recently, I decided that it is time to take control. Think up some analogy with a girl being in a wagon/cart/chariot type thing that represents her life and it just going along any random path at all different speeds and she is just sitting there in the back wondering why the hell she gets so motion sick. Yeah... so the girl = me, the chariot = my life, and the motion sickness = the crud I feel lately. I can feel something changing right now. Or rather, like it could change right now. I need to make some choices. I need either accept that my life is out of my control and quit complaining about it or I need to quit complaining and take control of things. It's really hard to explain what I mean, I dunno. Add to the analogy some bit about reins being used be the said girl in the back and you'll know what I mean.

It really is all physical. I am not taking good enough care of my body and it is letting me know. So I started with the coffee this week and that is going good. I haven't had a cup of coffee since Sunday. And the headaches aren't so bad now. I will probably still have coffee from time to time, don't get me wrong, I love the taste of it. It just won't be daily anymore. Next to go is soda. This shouldn't be so hard. We don't drink much soda, it is just that recently, it has been finding its way into our shopping cart more often than it should. So, no soda, more water.




You know me and "Carrie" right? We'll she wanted in on the action too. We all know how she likes round numbers, lol. This being the 1st of the month, it is prefect timing for a personal challenge. (Yeah, I let her pick the date.) I haven't been running much the past few weeks. Not running much = not at all. Ugh. I could go on about some knee pain and swelling I have been having, and my shoulder pain from too much torching, but they are just excuses. I am giving myself a personal challenge to run everyday this month! I don't know if it will work while I am in PA next week, but I am gonna try. I will be packing leggings and a sports bra in hopes that they have a gym in that massive hotel. Being the visual person I am, I am starting a weight journal too. Now, I know it isn't about the number, and I really truly feel strongly about that, but I do want to *see* that I am making some progress. So, each morning, when I wake up, I will weight myself and jot it down. I am kinda curious what I can do in a month of no coffee, no soda, and running everyday. If it is really good, lol, I will tell ya. Plus, I am hoping that saying that 'it takes three weeks to form a habit" will make me get into a better habit of regular exercise.

Alright, enough babbling. Thanks for lasting this long! I am guessing it is the bead photos that got you through the babble. I am all good with that, LOL. BUT, I should be beading!! I have soooo much work to do!! Here is a little sneak peak at the next round of beads.