Friday, October 15, 2010

Welcome Distraction

meet, lola boomer jane
meet, lola boomer jane

Sometimes, you just have to say screw it, let's go get a kitten.

There is a part of me that wants to tell you all about what is going on behind the scenes here. I know so many of you love my kids and are invested in what happens to them, especially Andrew, after following this blog for nearly 6 years. At the same time though, as they are growing and becoming more independent, I am starting to feel like their stories are becoming theirs to tell, not mine. And another part of me, just wants to protect them/him. It is a fine line to walk and understand. I know there will be times that I cross it, pour my heart out and ask for support, and there will be times that I hold it all back, sharing nothing. This is a blog about my life, and it is in a constant state of change, so we learn together what is right and comfortable. Yes?

While I was in England, Andrew was involved in an incident at school that led to a 5 day suspension. It was a situation of four bullies against one, and my one overreacted. There are just too many details to tell them all, but the events of the last week have led school to feel that they can't keep Andrew safe and they can't meet his emotional and mental health needs. At an emergency Committee for Special Education meeting on Wednesday, school decided to transition Andrew into a BOCES program in another district that will have him in a 6:1 classroom with professionals trained in understanding and supporting children with emotional disabilities. We haven't had a lot of time to process all of this, and honestly, I can't say what I am feeling about it. I waver every couple of hours it seems.

The transition process into this new program is going to take several weeks and Andrew will be home with me until then. I am taking him to tutoring every afternoon for two hours so he doesn't fall too far behind in the curriculum. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be running round town to doctor's appointments, intake meetings and interviews, tutoring, school, and learning how to be home with just Andrew. So, something has to give. It was with a very heavy heart that I called yesterday to cancel my participation in The Fine Craft Show (an art show I have done for the past three years at the local art gallery). I know with my whole heart that my place is with my family right now, not my studio, and with them is where I want to be. I get teary when I have to talk about it, but, in my gut, I know I am doing the right thing.

Back in August, I started whispering to Ron that, come Fall, I was going to get a kitten. He just shrugged his shoulders and ignored me (he isn't the pet person I am, and I understand that/ love him anyway, wouldn't keep me from wanting/getting one though). Well, yesterday, Andrew and I went on an adventure across town to bring a welcome distraction from all the yuck in life right now. He might just love animals more than I do. The five of us (YES, FIVE!! Ron loves her too) are so so excited to have a new baby in the house to pour love and affection into. And no, we haven't forgotten about our Mr.Rusty Sprouts either... he is getting lots of extra love these days too.

The new baby is an 8 weeks old little girl. She comes from a litter of 5. The Momma wandered into the host family's life unannounced and expecting. They couldn't bring themselves to turn her away so they gave the Momma a home and cared for the kittens. It was so hard to choose. Andrew and I decided that this little one was just right for us. She has a wonderful sweet temperament. We love her stripes, we love her freckles, and we love her sweet little meows. And, as a family, we named her...

meet, lola boomer jane

Lola Boomer Jane Bogert... Lola for short ;)

27 comments:

Laura Twiford said...

Just precious! You are doing everything right and so it will all work out. I know how hard it must bave been to cancel on your show but I respect you as a mother. Thank you for sharing this with us and I hope you find strength and hope here!

Kerry said...

Thank you, Laura.

Janet said...

What a special sweet soul you are Kerry. Your so strong and you and Ron will lead your little family. Its got to be hard to deal with the issues in these trying times with your Son. I feel for you and your Son that he has to change schools. No child wants to do this and so this will be maybe some what difficult. I believe he will in time adjust and grow from it. My heart goes out to you and you will surely be in my prayers Kerry. ox

Kym Hunter Designs said...

Kerry,

God's blessing to you and your family. Even though it was a hard decision to make, everything will work out. Your new addition to your family is adorable and I love her name!

Take care,

Kym

Kerry said...

Thank you, Janet.
Thank you, Kym.

Patricia Wood said...

What a cutie! Sending positive thoughts your way and wishing you and Andrew quiet and good times together while you're spending that precious time together:)

Beth said...

Awww how gorgeous! And what a wonderful way to distract yourself from all the stresses.

deehebard said...

Kerry...
I am sorry that all of you are having such a difficult time. Unfortunately, mental illness is so misunderstood by so many people. I hope that you and your family can find the right support that helps you through this difficult time. The important thing is that you have great love in your family...that will help guide you on this journey.
...and Lola will show you all unconditional love!

Kerry said...

Thank you, Patricia.
Thank you, Beth.
Thank you, Deedee.

sandi m said...

Has to be the cutest kitten I've ever seen!

I hope her distraction eases some of the pain you're going through right now.

Sending positive thoughts....
sandi

Melissa Meman said...

Hugs to you Kerry!

Spirited Earth said...

i'm so sorry you and your son are having such a difficult month.
Bullying is just awful,
perhaps the new school will prove less stressful.
the kitty was a fabulous idea..so so cute.

Lisa said...

What a sweet kitty (and being deathly allergic, it is hard for me to find kitties appealing)!

I'm sorry you came home to such an ordeal. I hope in our lifetime our kids see compassion in others for things so beyond their own control. It saddens me to know the extent of such intolerance. My mom has often told me that my daughter is lucky to have me for her mom/advocate/lioness/protector (though at 17, I know she feels otherwise most days). Andrew is blessed to have you on his side...we sometimes/often give up a lot of ourselves in the process. Hang in there.

TesoriTrovati said...

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Repeat.

Lola, lovely little Lola! What a blessing you will be to this famil who will pour their hearts into you. And what a beacon of hope and compassion you will be for them.

And Kerry, your family is your whole life and I agree that you shouldn't feel compelled to share every single thing. You are doing the best you can in a situation that is challenging. I am praying for you and for Andrew so that this transition will go well.

Enjoy the day.
Erin

Gardanne said...

Lola is the perfect adventure for you and Andrew. You did the right thing your fans will be waiting for you at next years fine craft show. Having experienced professionals helping Andrew navigate life's ups and downs has got to be a good thing, thank goodness we have these resources available to us.

Anonymous said...

You're a good mama, Kerry. Cute kitty too.

Ann H.

sundownbeaddesigns said...

My thought are with your and your family during this diffcult time. We can only want to do what's best for our children. Enjoy your one on one time with Andrew. The kitty is so cute, and I'll bet it will be a huge stress reliever for all of you. Hugs!

For My Sweet Daughter said...

Aren't kittens little "stress suckers"? When I was in a bad relationship I found myself crying into our kitten's sweet fur, I know Lola will help you all.
You are doing the right thing canceling the show to ficus on your family and I respect you as an artist and mother for doing so.
Everything will work out.
Prayers and hugs to you and your family.
Shannon

Moags and Smeet said...

Lola is gorgeous - hopefully she brightens your spirits when things are tough.

Elisabeth said...

Kerry - thinking good thoughts for you - and totally understand the competing needs in your life. Lola is a sweetie and I know she will bring joy to you all!

Alice said...

Kerry, I know some of what you are going through. I grew up with a sister much like Andrew. Only back then they did not have facilities or trained teachers, and my sister led a very unhappy childhood. You are doing all the right things, and giving Andrew all the love and support he needs. You won't regret cancelling the show months from now, but you would beat yourself up if you didn't take time for your son when he needs it the most. Thanks for sharing this.

You are a wonderful mom!

Ellen said...

Thinking of you Kerry during this difficult transition time. Hopefully as one door closes, a better window will open for you and Andrew.
I am not a cat person, but Lola is sure a cute kitten - hope she is just the distraction that you need.

Copper Diem said...

adorable! hang in there - i'm sending good thoughts your way

Rebecca said...

I'm completely understand your desire not to share everything here in your blog - some things are personal/private and and you're to hold onto. My heart goes out to you and Andrew but I am glad to see lovely Lola is there cheering you up - how could she not? She's absolutely gorgeous! Best of luck to you all.

Kerry said...

thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers everyone. ittruly means a lot.

Barbara Lewis said...

I'm a little late, but I wanted to say you've got your priorities in the right place. Family first. It will be great that Andrew will be getting the help that he needs.

Christine Damm said...

In years to come, you will look back on the decisions that you've made and know that you did the right thing. Challenges are for the strong and you are that-- in spades! Miss Kitty is the perfect remedy as it all comes back to love in the end. And what's really important. The ideas will always be there, some down time is never a bad thing. It's a time for contemplation and we all could use some of that. My thoughts are with you.