Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Hmmmm.... I am sitting here at my kitchen table on a freaking freezing morning. The snow is falling (add another 3 inches to the pile already out there), the kids are out the door on the bus to school, Lauren is vegging out on morning cartoons and feel like I am juggling too many thoughts at once. For this blog, I want to try to focus on just one part of the thoughts... beads.
Hmmmm.... my beads lately.... do you know, I can't remember the last time I wish I knew how to do a back flip because I was so excited about things coming out of the kiln. I know I have had that feeling before. The first time I did beads like "Picasso's Plantation" and "The Retro Dozen", I had that feeling. I knew I had created something totally wickedly cool. And I was so eager to come here, share them with you, then get back to my torch and see what new thing I could come up with next.
Hmmmm.... I wonder if it is because I have gotten to the point where I don't surprise myself. And maybe that is the cornerstone of this latest funk. (I feel like I need to dissect the funk to prevent future funks, although, as we all know, they tend to be totally unavoidable. Bare with me here.) I can still surprise myself with what I do jewelry wise. There are things I make that cause me think... "I didn't know I could do that!" But when it comes to beads, I think I have gotten to a place that I can pretty much sit down and create any design in my head. Unfortunately, new designs just don't seem to be flowing... so I am not excited... so I don't feel that surprise and excitement. I love surprise and excitement... who doesn't?
Take this little trio of beads... I was sitting at the torch on Sunday, making something or other, when the idea POPPED into my head that silvered ivory with turquoise plaids would be really cool. I made a few, just to see how they would turn out. When I got them out of the kiln on Monday, I thought "eh", (insert shoulder shrug here). I think they are nice beads... I think they are a good design... but I have done plaids before. I am over plaids. I want to know what comes next in my beady evolution!
Hmmmm.... I am suddenly reminded of something my friend said yesterday. We talked a little about living a more "mindful" life. Being in a moment, rather then letting thoughts wonder to what we are anticipating to come next. If you aren't mindful of the moment, then when that next thing comes, you won't enjoy that either... you'll have trained your mind to be away from enjoying/appreciating/understanding what it is right in front of you.
Is that what I am doing? Am I being a brat? Am I forgetting to enjoy this amazing thing I get to do everyday? Am I just being too hard on myself? Do I need to pop this virtual bubble I am in and get some more adult contact, lol?
Hmmmm.... My guess is it is some of all of those things.
I thought I would get to some point by the end of all this babbling. But interuptions, like sisterly phone calls and childrenly wants, have broken my train of thought in the past 15mins more times then I can count. LOL. Oh well, if you can make sense of my babble and form a good conclusion for me... please share. Heck... if you think I am off my rocker... please share. You all know how much I love comments!