I thought there was something I wanted to tell y'all about, but I forgot what it was. My head is a little fuzzy today. I woke up with a sore throat and clogged up nose. ugh.
I am counting the minutes till Spring Break is over so I can head back to bed or down to the studio in peace, lol.
I just remembered what I wanted to talk about. HA! See, fuzzy head. And when I get talking about it, you are gonna be thinking "how could you forget that is what was on your mind?"
I think it is just the kids being home for Spring Break, but I am feeling all pent up and ansie. Do you get like that? I am sure everyone does. I have energy, and eagerness... and no where to direct it. I have painting ideas, bead ideas, design ideas, garden ideas, house ideas... and surprisingly not to the point of being overwhelmed, but to the point of frustration. To the point that I am crawling out of my skin wanting to escape.
The weather has been dreary and it has me wanting to hide in the studio blaring music and twirling in my tutu. But I can't. And I feel like whining about it. I guess part of the frustration is that this feeling of wanting to create can be so fickle, there one minute and gone the next, that I want to relish in it while it is here. Before it is too late.
I tell myself that I should be enjoying the time I have with the kids while they are here. But they really aren't any fun right now. Jacob, the oldest, is being a tyrant, even going so far as to call me "stupid" which promptly got him a one way ticket to his room where he feel asleep for a two hour nap yesterday. Andrew is so-so. Finding balance with meds is still on going and he is floating in between places right now where if he isn't hyper-focused to the point of obsession on a very specific thing (right now it is baseball and talking to a certain friend on the phone) then he is complaining that "there.is.nothing.to.do... what.am.i.supposed.to.do?" Drag out each word to into about ten syllables when you read that and repeat it several dozen times and you might start to come close to what I have been hearing lately.
Saying that out load makes me feel like I am being selfish. Ugh. I just know me, and this is why I could never home school, and this is why I dread summers, and this is why I eat more chocolate then I should (it calms my nerves). It is okay to be selfish, right? It is okay to want more then watching cartoons and building forts? I never was much of a "player" even when I was a kid. My Mom says she used to have to take my books away and force me to go out side and play. Sorry your Mom is no fun, kids.
I was going some where with this but got lost in my fuzzy head. Anyway... I am here, in am bouncing on my heels waiting for some time to create, and I am trying to find some balance.