#348

Sigh, what a week it's been. To say that I have been on a roller coaster would be a HUGE under statement. Andrew had an adverse reaction to a new medication, we hosted a dinner party for a friend, I celebrated a birthday, we enjoyed Valentine's Day, two of my kids have been home sick, I've worked a ton, I've missed a ton of work, and all the while I've been day dreaming about this place. Yes, while all this life has been going on, my mind has been lost in a daydream in a rather dingy, albeit diamond in the rough, of a new studio space.

Remember when I mentioned a few weeks back that I had been hounding the building manager at The Hungerford Building to find me a room with a view? After 4 months of pestering, Friday he stopped by and said "come here, I gotta show ya something". Down the hall and around the corner... almost directly across from the elevator... and right next door to Delish Glass... is #348. The lock is busted, there is a giant hole in the wall, an odd rim of an old drop ceiling clings there still, and dried up spilled something or other is on the floor... but oh, can you see it? Can you see the potential there?

I just got the call a little while ago. My studio (#307) already has a new tenant ready to sign for it. While I'm away teaching on the Bead Cruise, magic will be worked inside these walls. The 15x35ft room will have the walls repaired, new sinks put in, the floors replaced, and a fresh coat of paint will go up. I can't wait to see it when it's finished and start the move!

In all honesty, I had started to contemplate a lot of sad/necessary/scary/unsettling/grown up things over the past few weeks. Not the least of which was possibly moving my studio back home. My brain was trying to do all the practical convincing one does to one's self in such situations... as it does when contemplating things the heart doesn't want to hear or deal with. It told me things like "a brick wall isn't much different than a basement one...", "no one stops and visits you very often down this empty hallway anyway...", "maybe Ron will build something outside at home, like a shed..." and worst of all "it'll save money if you give up the studio". That last one is the real kicker. The one that really ate away at me last week in particular while Ron was getting news that nearly 200 people in his group of 1200 at work were laid off. (Thankfully, he still has his job... at least for now.)

I'm still struggling with those voices. My heart has dealt with a little too much lately, so it is on the tender side... but the day dreams are rebuilding the strength of it. Bringing some reserved excitement back that has been missing. I close my eyes and I can feel the warmth of the sun streaming in from those 3 big windows, I can hear the train whistles in my ears, and it feels right. It's gonna be a good thing.

the view from those big old windows