Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My Life In Idioms

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I am is such a state of limbo here in the ole KAB studio. I am treading water. I am on tenterhooks. I am flying in a holding pattern. But I am not one to stand with curlers in my hair. My breath has been bated too long and I am starting to turn blue. A serious shade of sad blue. Suspense is killing me and I need to be put out of my misery. I am sure everyone comes to this place now and again. I took a big risk and I need to have patience, I have to wait. I need to have faith. I have to know that what is meant to be will be. All so easier said than done.

I wish I could create my way through this waiting, but my energy feels spread to thin and I just can't find the mindset to paint or bead or knit or sew or anything. I just pace and wonder and dream and sulk and have a random water gun battle and pace and hit refresh on my email a million times and debate internally and sulk and wish and dream and oh-woe-is-me a while and pick peas in the garden. It is a vicious cycle and it is messing with my head. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't hold a train of thought for long and I can't concentrate on anything. I just want to shake myself awake, but worry if I shake too hard my dream will slip away. I don't want to give up on it yet. *sigh*

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9 comments:

Brandi said...

Have faith, Kerry! Things will go the way they are meant to.

Waiting is the hardest, and holding patterns are awful. Can you maybe take a day off, or go outside and do something for an hour or two?

Kerry said...

I think one of my problems is too much time off, Brandi. I have no distraction, other than the kids home from school. We are keeping busy but my heart isn't in the busy-ness. It is in the waiting and wondering. *sigh*

Cindy said...

Good things come to those who wait! :-) Even if it isn't what you thought you were waiting for. But don't lose faith yet! I have a good feeling about all of this! :-)

Christine said...

Yup, I was thinking about you and your waiting this morning...

Hang in there, good things are on the way, for sure. I can feel it. :)

TesoriTrovati said...

I am thinking of you, Miss Kerry!
I know that waiting is the hardest part. Whatever happens you have likely learned a lot. I am hoping all the best for you so that you can get off these pins and needles already!
I will have to send you some pictures of what I am creating for my exhibit. As soon as I take them!
Enjoy the day!
Erin

stregata said...

It sounds as if you have sent a request out to the universe. Just let it go, don't hold on so tight! How can it reach its destination, if you don't let it fly?

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Kerry, You just described my last few days. I've held my breath so long, I'm turning blue!

Good luck to you. And hang in there!

hello gorgeous said...

{sigh!} you have just described - to a T - how I am feeling about life at present - and wondering when it's all gonna click into place and how hard that shake needs to be.....

hope it brightens up for you soon gorgeous......

hugs

hello gorgeous xxx

Holly said...

The waiting and wondering is always the worst part. I know how you feel! But if what you are waiting for doesn't come, it doesn't mean you have to give up the dream, just adjust it.